i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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