I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
