my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
