with your own penis?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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