when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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