omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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