I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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