"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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