How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
