yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
