I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
