That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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