Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
