I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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