please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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