Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
