ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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