I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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