I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
In other news, I just burned my penis
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
