piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
