Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
