She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
