I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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