Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
