drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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