I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If I had your ass I would rule the world
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
