Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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