Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I smell stomach acid.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
