Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
