Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
