Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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