It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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