One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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