i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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