Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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