I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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