Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
