i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
