I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize