i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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