I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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