do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I AM VODKA MAN
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
