She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
