By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
