Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I want her autograph on my taint
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
