Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize