He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
kristin has been a bad kristin
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
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I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
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I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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