dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
