Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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