I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
