Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
