Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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