I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
