What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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