So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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