I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Farmville is her only friend.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
