How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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