I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
