he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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