This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
