Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
