you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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